Steven Spielberg: [when Michael accidentally runs in on his set] Cut! You hairball, I'll never finish this movie! Who let him in? Isn't anybody in charge? Don't you know ANYTHING about show business?
Michael: I'm sorry.
Steven Spielberg: My producer is doing this to me, isn't he? I ask for a BAD guy and he gives me Michael Jackson? I can't take it anymore!



Michael: [a traffic cop points to a "No Moonwalking" sign] Me and my friend, Spike, we were just... But, my friend, he was just... Spike, he was just here...
Traffic Cop: [Hands him a ticket pad] I need your autograph right HERE.

Though the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards don't begin until Sunday night, the bass-bumping, guitar-wailing action is already in full swing inside New York's Radio City Music Hall as superstar artists rehearse for their performances.

And you know what? It's just not fair that we're the only ones who get a sneak peek at this pop-culture heaven. That's why we've decided to pull aside the curtain and let you know what the first 30 minutes of the VMA show will deliver.

A very special tribute to Michael Jackson will begin the show, and Janet Jackson will be there to take part. From there, it's off to the entertainment races. Get ready for Eminem, Jack Black, Pete Wentz, Kristin Cavallari, Justin Bieber and Miranda Cosgrove.

Did we mention you'll also get Shakira and "Twilight" star Taylor Lautner too? Well, it's gonna happen, so get prepared, and time your bathroom breaks wisely. In the first 30 minutes, you'll also be treated to performances from Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift and house-band MC Wale.

Of course, host Russell Brand will be front and center the entire time. Returning for emceeing duty after last year's controversy-filled show, Brand has promised to bring the love to the 2009 VMAs. Goodness knows what that means to the potty-mouthed comedian!

There's pretty much an entire awards show of pop-culture righteousness stuffed into this half-hour. But there's much more to come afterward, and you'll just have to keep glued to the boob tube to take it all in.

There are going to be performances by Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Pink, Green Day and Muse. Plus appearances by Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Nelly Furtado, Leighton Meester, Chace Crawford and Ne-Yo, and exclusive, never-before-seen footage from "Twilight" sequel "New Moon" and the Michael Jackson documentary "This Is It."

So there you are. Welcome behind the VMA curtain. We hope you're as pumped for the show as we are.

The 2009 MTV Video Music Awards air live this Sunday, September 13, at 9 p.m. ET, but New York is celebrating the VMAs all week long! Stay tuned for party coverage, concert reports, behind-the-scenes updates and more.